Well.
Yeah, this blog post begins with a "well..." It's about that feeling, you know THAT feeling - that intangibility that's called love, but which I'm going to call "like". I have no idea what "love" is and, somehow, using that word makes me feel even more vulnerable than what this intimate piece of writing anyway makes me feel.
It's that feeling when you like someone. When you really, really like someone.
Like a lot of other posts in my blog documenting "firsts", this is a first for me too. The honesty with which I have this feeling, and the intensity, and a liberating uplifting strength that I'm able to derive from it - whatever be the decision of the object of my "like" - is my first.
This first experience has had an effect on me that I did not quite anticipate. I find myself reading up literature on subjects related to "liking someone" as they show up in my social media newsfeed when all I would have done earlier was ignore and scroll over. It's surprising to me but also a bit beautiful how I find myself relating to thoughts expressed by noted people from various walks of life on that feeling - "like".
There's this one particular piece of literature I came across that resonates most closely with what I feel. It's a letter from John Steinbeck to his son trying to pick apart and put together what "love" is and what to do when you have such feelings for another. I find that my feelings of "like" are inspiring me to be a better person, they're bringing about this "outpouring of everything good in you", as Steinbeck put it. And I figure that's partly because I want to "live up" to the excellence in character portrayed by the person I like. Steinbeck advised his son to "try to live up to it" - to his son's feelings of affection for the person he adored.
This is coming from a recognition of another person as "unique and valuable" and makes you want to respect that person and their choices and decisions. I love how Steinbeck's letter to his son so eloquently expresses what takes me a lot of courage to put down in this post. And I have to laugh at this polarity - writing down so openly, more than I have ever dared before - halting, hesitating with shyness but also wanting to shout out from the rooftops and letting the world know! I know that this "like" is almost releasing in me "strength and courage" and I hope a lot of "goodness" and "wisdom" too as Steinbeck described happens with a love that's not focused around self-interest or self-importance.
I am entitled to my feelings and likes and dislikes and so is the person I like - and I respect that. Neither of our feelings become any less "valuable" or "good" - they are ours, they belong to each of us and so are valid. Steinbeck told his son that "it sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another - but that does not make your feeling any less valuable". And neither does it discredit the object of your affection if they have a "like" that's different from yours and is not you.
Brain Pickings described this Steinbeck letter as reflecting "tenderness, optimism, timelessness and sagacity" that come when you like someone in ways that uplift you and make you want to be a better person. Echoing those sentiments, I think I'll close out this post with what the father had to say to his lovestruck son on what to do about such feelings - "glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it...And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens..."
Yeah, this blog post begins with a "well..." It's about that feeling, you know THAT feeling - that intangibility that's called love, but which I'm going to call "like". I have no idea what "love" is and, somehow, using that word makes me feel even more vulnerable than what this intimate piece of writing anyway makes me feel.
It's that feeling when you like someone. When you really, really like someone.
Like a lot of other posts in my blog documenting "firsts", this is a first for me too. The honesty with which I have this feeling, and the intensity, and a liberating uplifting strength that I'm able to derive from it - whatever be the decision of the object of my "like" - is my first.
This first experience has had an effect on me that I did not quite anticipate. I find myself reading up literature on subjects related to "liking someone" as they show up in my social media newsfeed when all I would have done earlier was ignore and scroll over. It's surprising to me but also a bit beautiful how I find myself relating to thoughts expressed by noted people from various walks of life on that feeling - "like".
There's this one particular piece of literature I came across that resonates most closely with what I feel. It's a letter from John Steinbeck to his son trying to pick apart and put together what "love" is and what to do when you have such feelings for another. I find that my feelings of "like" are inspiring me to be a better person, they're bringing about this "outpouring of everything good in you", as Steinbeck put it. And I figure that's partly because I want to "live up" to the excellence in character portrayed by the person I like. Steinbeck advised his son to "try to live up to it" - to his son's feelings of affection for the person he adored.
This is coming from a recognition of another person as "unique and valuable" and makes you want to respect that person and their choices and decisions. I love how Steinbeck's letter to his son so eloquently expresses what takes me a lot of courage to put down in this post. And I have to laugh at this polarity - writing down so openly, more than I have ever dared before - halting, hesitating with shyness but also wanting to shout out from the rooftops and letting the world know! I know that this "like" is almost releasing in me "strength and courage" and I hope a lot of "goodness" and "wisdom" too as Steinbeck described happens with a love that's not focused around self-interest or self-importance.
I am entitled to my feelings and likes and dislikes and so is the person I like - and I respect that. Neither of our feelings become any less "valuable" or "good" - they are ours, they belong to each of us and so are valid. Steinbeck told his son that "it sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another - but that does not make your feeling any less valuable". And neither does it discredit the object of your affection if they have a "like" that's different from yours and is not you.
Brain Pickings described this Steinbeck letter as reflecting "tenderness, optimism, timelessness and sagacity" that come when you like someone in ways that uplift you and make you want to be a better person. Echoing those sentiments, I think I'll close out this post with what the father had to say to his lovestruck son on what to do about such feelings - "glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it...And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens..."
