Here's the holy grail: my statement of purpose or atleast part of it. It's personal, it's cathartic and I preferred not sharing it with too many people until now. Of late, I find myself becoming increasingly possessive about my writings, for whatever they're worth. So, I wouldn't like to see my 'SOP' getting plagiarized (ok, I'm probably flattering myself here but if it ever does get copied). Having it up here would, hopefully, point to its original source.
LEARNING, UNLEARNING AND GROWING…
MY STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
The atmosphere was electric. Heated arguments and rebuttals were flying across the stage where I sat along with my team. The hot yellow-orange track lights beamed down on us putting us in sharper focus even as the three judges looked on solemnly, almost menacingly, at the proceedings while the ‘hall’ full of 700-odd schoolmates sat rapt in nail-biting attention, erupting into a joyous shout and clap of hands whenever the school- ‘house’ they sided shot down an argument of the defending ‘house’. As I sat precariously on the edge of my seat watching one student after another, both from my team and the opposing team, almost sprint to the microphone placed in the centre of the stage attacking points they’d picked up from each other’s debates, I resolutely thought, ‘It’s now or never.’ As sure as I had been of delivering my argument on the topic, I’d had a nagging fear all through my preparation and rehearsals weeks before that I wouldn’t be able to rebut points – think on the spot – from the rival team’s argument. Sitting there on the stage, at that moment, I felt that fear crystallizing into a numbing inactivity, trying to glue me to my seat. Maybe it was this realization that spurred me to think and do something that I never thought I was capable of. All of a sudden I found my legs taking me determinedly to the microphone and there I was, making a case against and refuting the opposing team’s arguments.
The result – my house ‘Pansies’ winning the debate and I being adjudged the Best Speaker – are mostly a blur now. The cheering, clapping, thumping of backs…all come back to me as one big blob of a memory. I remember more vividly the raging debate I had going on in my head and how I overcame what I’d feared most.
How does all of this relate to my purpose of graduate study? Well, it shows that I’m made of sterner stuff than I think I am. I’ve had quite a few experiences where I’ve astonished myself by my ability to overcome and do things that I thought were huge roadblocks.
In my first year of undergraduate study I always strived for absolute perfection in my assignments which I later realized was my way of avoiding failure. Doing them over and over, meticulously trying to iron out every single crease in my assignments left me feeling stifled. It was then that I learnt to allow myself to make mistakes, learn from my mistakes, but most importantly, enjoy the whole process.
They say there’s nothing a mind made up cannot achieve. Although I dropped a semester in college for reasons both founded and unfounded, I found it very hard to make myself go back and resume that one semester that was left out from my Architecture education. Refusing to face my fears, I lost out on an academic year. Finally, when I let good sense knock me over, I remember the steely determination with which I went back to college to pick up the remaining thread I’d dropped, resolving not to let anything – however small – keep me from completing my semester. In hindsight, I don’t regret on losing that year or having graduated later. One of my professors says that regrets scar the mind. I’ve learnt a lot – about myself, about situations and how to deal with them and not to make mountains out of molehills. I’ve grown, and I can confidently say for the better, thanks to all my experiences.
‘With great power comes great responsibility’, goes a line from one of my favourite films. My situation, today, is not as cinematic as the line sounds but facing a class of 90-odd first year students as their design faculty does fill me with an immense sense of responsibility in trying to be the best guide I can to my students. I’m trying to pass on all that I’ve learnt from one of my most influential professors – Professor Farid, Head of Department, Architecture. Design, he emphasized, had to be ‘felt’ to be created. To ‘feel’ the personalities of the people one is designing for. Anyone could design but what’d make an Architect’s design stand out from the rest would be this human qualitative aspect that he/she imparts.
Another one of my responsibilities, which can at times seem overwhelming, is reviewing Design Theses of final year architecture students as an internal juror. Having gone through the entire process myself as a student very recently, I can empathize with the stress and sleepless nights that the students go through. At the same time the anxiety of being fair as a juror and assessing their work to the best of my knowledge has been an amazing learning experience - in more ways than one. I will cherish this learning experience because it’s got me in contact with a plethora of thoughts and ideas from both, the experienced senior fellow juror members and the young but daring students.
I now know, from all these learnings and unlearnings, that I can, and will be able to accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself – and overcome any roadblocks.
