Newspaper, tea and roses

This post comes at a time when I'm going through one of the two 'biggest and most important events' in one's life (as described by an acquaintance). I've left my nest (what some people would call cutting the umbilical cord; I, however, find no sense in the whole 'umbilical cord' concept but more of that later).
Well, so, through all the turmoil that the 'sensitive kinds' go through at such a time and identify with, I think I'm starting to chalk out a picture of the kind of life I would want for myself and what I would want to do. Because that's what it boils down to - what you want out of life and what life you want to live.
Time to read the newspaper while I sit sipping my tea in the morning definitely figures in my scheme of things. Loved ones around, of course. It's the smallest things in life that bring happiness and that's what one needs - happiness. Money, too. I want to be able to smell the roses as I go by them and bask in the golden warmth of a lovely dusk...idealistic, I know. Atleast it's something to reach out for and work towards...

This Time, That Year!

One year on (since my experiments with blogging, silly!) and, well, the catchword is still learning. And growing. And I'm glad it's so  - you know, all that age-old wisdom about learning being the raison-d'etre of life and life stopping when one stops learning etc. If not for anything else, I love how my posts have benchmarked phases of my life during that one year. It's makes for great recalling especially if you're 'pea-brained'!

Yeah, one would do well to remember this for life

I love these ‘life’s answers’. They are so simple and common-sense. They’re from an old newspaper cutting that I have but I recently discovered that these gems are all over the internet too, quite freely accessible. Well, anyway, for the sake of the old-tattered newspaper cutting…!

Life’s Answers

These are some instructions which you would do well to remember for life:

·         Give people more than they expect & do it cheerfully.

·         Memorize your favourite poem.

·         Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have and sleep all you want.

·         When you say, “I love you”, mean it.

·         When you say, “I’m sorry”, look the person in the eye.

·         Be engaged atleast six months before you get married. (Very practical advice).

·         Believe in love at first sight (but don’t fall too hard).

·         Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

·         Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it’s the only way to live life completely.

·         In disagreements fight fairly. No name calling.

·         Don’t judge people by their relatives.

·         Talk slowly, but think quickly.

·         When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “why do you want to know?”

·         Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

·         Don’t forget to call your mom.

·         Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze. (or anything else appropriate).

·         When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

·         Remember the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

·         Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

·         When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

·         Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

·         Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

·         Spend some time alone.

·         Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

·         Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

·         Read more books and watch less T.V.

·         Live a good, honourable life. Then, when you get older and think back you’ll get to enjoy it a second time.

·         Trust in God, but lock your car.

·         A loving atmosphere in your home is so important.

·         Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.

·         In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

·         Read between the lines.

·         Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.

·         Be gentle with the earth.

·         Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.

·         Never interrupt when you are being flattered.

·         Mind your own business.

·         Don’t trust a man/woman who doesn’t close his/her eyes when you kiss.

·         Once a year, go someplace you’ve never seen before.

·         If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth’s greatest satisfaction.

·         Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.

·         Learn the rules and break some.

·         Remember that the best relationship is the one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

·         Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

·         Remember that your character is your destiny.

·         Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

How it all started...and the way it ended...

No, it's not vanity. 'Status updates' or 'tweets' on social networking sites, while a great self-expression tool, inadvertently become documentaries of your life - phases of it. Here is a collection of my status messages from one of the social networking sites I'm on. They document my moods, thoughts, ideas and feelings during a not-easy phase in my life, to put it mildly. It's very unlike me to be so direct and forthright about some of my deepest, heartfelt aspirations and dreams or having them out here for the world to read. I can't decide if I want to save this post as a record for posterity or just delete it and the not-so-pleasant memories that come surging back when I read some of the messages.  Well, until the time that I make up my mind about the fate of this post, here it is. There's excitement, anticipation, happiness, a carefree living-in-the moment, a newfound confidence, a spring in the step, hints of clouds, shadows of doubts, a resolute positivity, testing of will, a big dunk into despair, palls of gloom, helpless waiting with a constant hope, a restoring of faith and determination, plans of action, a little cynicism, loads of gratitude, reflection and wonderment, acceptance and finally, serenity and calm.

And that's that - July 9th 2010at 1:18 pm

Go Paul, go Paul, go Paul!!! Dare I root for Netherlands when Paul says Spain?!!! - July 9th 2010 at 10:56 pm

No, wait! I'm confused - which team do I side with? Oh, forget it! Go FIFA World Cup (and Paul, o'course)!!! - July 12th 2010 at 1:58 am

Ok! Spain's my choice. The Dutch are playing nasty - July 12th 2010 at 1:58 am

‎"...the flowing locks of Carlos Puyol that were instrumental in getting Spain to the Final" - a commentator. LOL! - July 12th 2010 at 2:00 am

What's wrong with my phone! None of status messages have gotten updated! Anyway... - July 12th 2010 at 2:40 am

Such a brutally intense match. The players didn't even have time for their customary spitting! - July 12th 2010 at 2:41 am

Who says 13 is an unlucky number? Spain did it at 13! - July 12th 2010 at 2:41 am

Ain't I evil?!!! Lol, family! - July 13th 2010 at 11:44 pm

‎"Every building you see is the image of a man you do not see. That image is shaped by the man's values. If you want roses in your garden you must have them in your heart" - Louis Sullivan in Kindergarten Chats - July 15th 2010 at 1:11 am

To the movies! - July 17th 2010 at 1:46 am

The 'backlogs' were piling up. Couldn't let that happen, now, could I?! Inception's a solid, hit-you-in-the-stomach kind of movie that makes you feel like you finally got your money's worth and some fulfilling weekend fun! - July 17th 2010 at 2:30 pm

(my) Life right now is uncannily mimicking the monsoons we're going through - clouds, sunshine, shade and shadow, pouring rains (cats and dogs too, literally). And all of this happening in one day - everyday! - July 17th 2010 at 11:00 pm

Wow! Dead tired! I'm actually choosing sleep over my Rock Walk and my second love - shopping :( - July 18th 2010 at 3:03 pm

"I mean, for a start, there aren’t any men in the world, everyone knows that." - Lara Lington. You've got to love chick-lit!!! - July 20th 2010 at 1:09 am

Yeah, whatever. - July 22nd 2010 at 12:18 am

needs a movie break, again. - July 22nd at 11:00 pm

Rung by rung, one tiny step before the next, one day at a time and zooming out every now and then to keep the big picture in view... - July 24th 2010 at 12:02 am

Good morning, dreary clouds. - July 24th 2010 at 9:34 am

She makes sure her pet dog is safe - that's the only good part in S.A.L.T. - July 25th 2010 at 4:58 pm

‎'The more we expand our focus to include others' interests alongside our own, the more securely we build the foundations of our own happiness' - That's what the Dalai Lama tweeted recently. How deliciously ironic to be reading this knowing you're surrounded by meanies who can't think beyond their own interest and won't flinch one bit hurting you in the process of pursuing that interest(s). - July 31st 2010 at 12:02 am

Yes Murphy, yes, I know. There's no better time to have the most god-awful headache than the middle of the night when the doctor is out of reach! (a wry !) - August 2nd 2010 at 2:22 am

‎"Patience! Patience, my love" - Smeagol to his reflection. There's so much to learn from you, Smeagol! - August 3rd at 11:50 pm

 Numb. - August 4th 2010 at 5:08 pm

So, these two chatty girls beside me in the 'plex go "Baaaah ! So boring!!!" and "They're such a boring couple" and "there's no interval or what for this movie". LOL! Movie in question - that Twilight Eclipse thingy. It is quite entertaining having a constant stream of chatter 'enhancing' your movie-watching experience sometimes! - August 5th 2010 at 9:14 pm

Autocad and Microstation need to combine forces instead of being competitors. It would make life so much better and simpler. - August 7th 2010 at 12:33 am

Predators and Despicable Me are not remarkable films but they're well made (except how those predators look). Despicable me is very simply funny, cute and has the utterly adorable Margo, Edith and Agnes. - August 8th 2010 at 9:48 pm

Aisha is so wannabe! - August 9th 2010 at 5:20 pm

Ohhh! Buying a well-fitting pair of jeans is the hardest task in the world. 'Like' hardest task ever! - August 9th 2010 at 7:03 pm

I guess cats are too free-spirited and willful to want to remain your pet. I spotted my precious pet today after nine long months of his having left home. He doesn't even recognize me or my voice anymore :( - August 10th 2010 at 8:03 pm

Ask yourself if you have it in you to come through for someone in their hour of need before wanting somebody to be there for you. - August 11th 2010 at 12:12pm

‎"Your best friends may not really turn out to be great roommates", he said. That is quite true! - August 11th 2010 at 8:05 pm

Murphy, Murphy, Murphy - why do you always have to be right?! - August 12th 2010 at 9:04 pm

If it’s good, it's wonderful, if it's bad, it's experience...no regrets. - from a tweeter - August 13th 2010 at 12:38 am

There. is. no. one. like. me. No one. - August 17th 2010 at 12:03 am

Idealism. Sigh! - August 17th 2010 at 5:07 pm

 Everyone's got to have a pet cause! (I'm quite sure I must've read that in some chick-lit or heard it in a chick-flick) - August 18th 2010 at 9:02 pm

No, posting loads and loads of 'this is funny', 'this is too good' YouTube videos is not my thing! - August 19th 2010 at 4:29 pm

‎'Facebook Places' - "Where are you?" is joining "What's on your mind?" as Facebook lets its users declare their whereabouts to their friends and people nearby. As with any new Facebook product, privacy issues figure front BUT location services present "endless possibilities" to businesses, marketers etc - from an article on ibnlive

Lol, well, how did that famous line go? - It's all about the money, honey! -  August 19th 2010 at 8:44 pm

is keeping the faith. - August 20th 2010 at 12:38 am

There are such few absolutes (in life). Most things change with the flow. - August 20th 2010 at 9:20 pm

‎'I wonder if my misery is some sort of karmic retribution for the way I've treated people' - Sue Sylvester.
Lol!!! - August 20th 2010 at 11:04 pm

‎- On a whole different level! - August 21st 2010 at 8:14 pm

 Logic and reason clearly show you the way forward, it's the emotions that mess up everything! Damn you, emotions! - August 22nd 2010 at 5:08 am

 ‎"Always behave like a duck; keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath." - Lord Barbizon - August 22nd 2010 at 5:35 pm

That's it - onwards and upwards it is! - August 23rd 2010 at 12:35 am

has a sudden urge to watch the old 'toons Duck Tales, Talespin and Gummi Bears. Or maybe the urge has more to do with revisiting lovely nostalgia associated with watching them as a kid. - August 23rd 2010 at 6:52 pm

 Yeah, no, I don't much like Augusts - they just aren't grand, august months. - August 24th 2010 at 12:59 am

 Wow! So many, many grammatically-challenged people around me! 'Its surprising'!!! - August 25th 2010 at 12:05 am

Respecting laws, abiding by them and being honest and truthful seems to do nothing more than put you at a BIG disadvantage - that's not how it's supposed to work, though, is it? - August 26th 2010 at 7:14 pm

'Kya laya re Sikander,
Duniya se le chala kya,
The dono haath khaali bahar kafan se nikle...'

- A few lines from some old sher that my Grandmom was reciting today. -  August 28th 2010 at 10:56 pm

Measuring Distances

My gramndma remarked today, "How far is that?" 
My uncle repeated, "6o km".
She said, "Haan sattar to hai, nai time kitna lagta jaane?"

And that is how we (my grandmother and I) measure distances! No kilometer/mile crunching for us, no sirree! It has to be in simple chew-able bite sizes of information that don't take too much effort to process! Like saying, "XYZ is a 2-hr driving distance away". Never mind if logistics like volume of traffic on the roads, consequent speed of vehicles etc affect the time taken to reach a place! We just process all of the external factors (subconsciously in my case at least because I don't think I'm ever aware that I'm thinking it out so much!) and bam! - we know! We get a fairly accurate (or wait - now I'm starting to doubt if it's accurate!) idea in our head of how far a place is and we can even nicely compare distances between places by referring to one fixed barometer we have.
It's the same with the more farther off places - is it a day's journey by train? Is it a 4-hr flight? 
Believe it!
The same exceptions apply - no taking into account stopovers, changing trains/planes and certainly no going by the route taken to get there (circuitous or as the crow flies). The time taken to get from place A to place B is good enough for us!
Sigh, women!...ok -  girls!...or females, perhaps! (Alright, feminists and equal-ists - no offence meant!)

Onwards and Upwards

And then there's picking yourself up...piecing back the dream bit by shattered bit. An uphill road again, the familiar potholes on the way, and learning to be prepared for the unexpected ones.


'There's still hope' - and there always will be because you keep it alive in your heart, your being. A sliver of light guiding your way; the silken, radiant rope you hold onto on your climb up the mountain.


'Climb every mountain, search high and low,
 follow every by-way, every path you know,
 Climb every mountain, ford every stream,
 follow every rainbow, till you find your dream...'


I'm not resting till I find mine.

That's Life

It starts with a thought, doesn't it? Or rather - thoughts - which snowball into plans, determination and finally action. There's effort and sincerity... genuineness and integrity...diligence and dedication... and optimism. A single-minded trudge through the long, twisting, winding way to where you want to be or where you've planned to be. The plan - yes.  Little triumphs and unexpected disappointments, sometimes a clear way and sometimes a haze like looking out at a blurry world through a window smattered with raindrops where the clean beam of a streetlight is smothered to an obscure smog as it makes it's way through the fumes of vehicles busily passing by. A window...a memory...a tempo...a spring in your step...elusive 45s. But through it all, an endless, tireless journey and a just-there-rose-tinted destination.


There's also - 'That's life'. The not-factored element. That one element that sneaks its way through your carefully worked on plans and hits at their very root, making your dreams come crashing down in front of a helpless you or just swooshes down and knocks over all your hard work like it were as weightless or valueless as a castle built with a pack of cards that come fluttering down with a gust of wind unfairly targeted at it.  That's life. And the meaning hitting home after nearly two decades of hearing the much-bandied about phrase. Coming of age happens so late?


And also reflections and looking back...was that the way it should have been done? Giving in to room for superstitions and a lot of whys. 


'Mist and shadow, cloud and shade...'


A ramble, a faltering like these rambling disconnected words...and starting with a thought...all over again...


That's Life, Indeed.