"The person you are right now is as transient, as fleeting and as temporary as all the people you've ever been. The one constant in our life is change." - Dan Gilbert

Throwback Tuesday - The Start of a Life's Pursuit

The roads are choc-a-block and we’re crawling our way through the illogically confused body of buses, cars, trucks, auto rickshaws, motorcycles and bicycles occupying the road sprinkled with a good number of pedestrians trying to cross through the spaces in between all these. Well, it’s hardly an unusual aspect of travelling in Hyderabad that I need to write about. Commuting in Hyderabad is no less than a Herculean task, and if you think, “oh, a little patience will surely get me through the traffic to my destination”, hold on! Did I mention the heat radiated from the black tar roads, the exhaust of vehicles, the smoke filled air and the sun beating down on you will make you feel like you’re being cooked in an oven and leave you with no remembrance of your destination? In fact, it has quite the effect of turning commuters into warriors who are only determined to fight their way out of this obstacle-laden course.

          It’s a big surprise, when, just a turn into a small lane off the main road and a small driving distance later I emerge onto this seemingly endless tract of muddy land with patches of green every here and there, rocks of all shapes and sizes jutting out of the land at various heights meeting a sapphire blue sky in the distance.

          The group is assembled and all ready for the “rock walk.” We make our way through a “kuchha road”, wild greens bordering us on either side. I can see a large number of millipedes on the ground. And termite hills. There are the ubiquitous ants too, so many that it almost makes you discount their presence. Now we walk over almost flat rock surfaces, now we climb over a few higher ones even as we brush our way through the nettle branches.  The “walk” is a long and a little arduous but I can see the exhilaration on every group member’s face. We’re surrounded by an impressively beautiful panorama being revealed by every step we take. There’s been a cool breeze blowing all the while. It’s sweet and uplifting and energizing.

          However, the best parts of our “walk” are the mammoth boulders we keep encountering. They’re millions of years old and absolutely magnificent. I can’t help being in awe of them because they inspire a feeling of regality. Here is an overwhelmingly beautiful form of Nature which makes us sit up and truly admire her beauty. Curious, because an odd indoor plant or a smattering of trees in the cityscape hardly evoke any feelings. As a few members of the group are pointing out, some of the rocks are perched one on top of the other in precarious looking formations yet they are perfectly balanced, and what’s more they’ve stood like that for thousands of years.

          Walking, climbing, gushing about the landscape together, we are just making our way over a narrow strip of what looks like a bund wall when we see a swatch of pale blue on the ground in the distance. It’s a lake! It almost seems like some secret lake being revealed to us ecstatic bunch of “rock walkers” lapping up every ounce of nature we’re encountering. I wonder at the serenity of the place - there are a few locals by the shore washing their clothes, four buffaloes lounging in the cool water and some children happily flying kites - and the whole scene is tranquil and the quietude induces a soothing calmness of the mind. After a while of resting amidst the rocks and the greenery and a bit of sketching and painting by some members, we start to make our way back. The sky has turned a darker shade of blue and the clouds are now glowing orange. We assemble back at our designated meeting point exchanging notes and talking. There are beads of sweat on most of the group members’ foreheads. Everyone’s breathing harder - the kind that always accompanies strenuous physical activity. Only, in a strange way the fast breath is cleansing and invigorating. Keats’s “A thing of beauty is a joy forever” is running through my mind. I can hardly wait for our next “rock walk” now.

The Stuff Sukoon's Made Of

"Bhains ... bachda jani." On trusting and being careful in whom you place your trust.

"Aankh se hasrat, daant se mazaa,
Yeh do na ho toh aakhir khazaa."

"Khamoshi teri ae dilruba kuch aur kehti hai,
Fizaa kuch aur kehti hai, Hawaa kuch aur kehti hai."

"Aaye jawaani, jaaye jawaani,
Jaakar phir na aaye jawaani."

"Guzre zamaane yaad na aa,
Ek soch si hain jeene kya hoga zindagi mein,
Yunhi kategi shaayad hasrat mein bebasi."

"Shukar ... ka kar, ladgayi kismat teri,
Yek be ek pari ko hui ulfat teri."

"Maa-Baap se rakh dosti, Maa-Baap phir milte kahaan? Biwi mile Bacchhe mile, Maa-Baap phir milte kahaan?
Maa-Baap se rakh dosti, Maa-Baap phir milte kahaan? Bhai mile, Bahan mile, Maa-Baap phir milte kahaan?"

This is my time.

You glance out of the window and gaze upon the swathe of smoky grey-blue snow laying almost evenly flat on the ground and stretching out as far as the eye can see. It's as cool-grey and steel-blue as the night sky is a cloudy white. There's something bewitching about the scene - a charm that wants to draw you out and onto the path you see your life chalking itself out on the clean snow-laden slate. Snow and Sky together radiate a soft, gentle whiteness. The colours cool your mind. The now-lit, now-in-shadow patches of the ever so slightly undulating snow sheaf  glitter like a blanket woven of tiny gemstones even as it inspires crystal-like clarity in your thoughts.
The night is young. It has come into its own now as Twilight ended. It seems to rejoice in its newness and its alluring naïveté - unapologetically.
And it will change, it knows, to a darker, older Night as time goes by. But this time - this Now, belongs to it. And so does mine.
This is my time. The time of my life. And I will have it.

Making more pictures with words...

That first visit home - when those little things you know so well are reassuringly the same yet Change reveals itself subtly in your surroundings; when the mannerisms of your old life seem to come alive from deep recesses of your memory; when you intuitively find your way in a place whose memory's been dulled by Time and Absence; when you're finally amidst the sights, sounds and smells you've yearned for; when you can't wait to excitedly embrace the place that left you with beautiful memories, the stuff that you know, or hope, will make many more; when you feel like you've never been away as you easily slip back into the old routine - Yes, a 'first' experience of that first visit home. A smorgasbord of emotions!

December 13, 2011

Lazy Sundays, spicy Indian food, nostalgic and delightful conversations with family over cups of steaming chai and reminiscing time with Dad. A bittersweet Indian vacation.

December 18, 2011

The cool night breeze, that I've known so well, sweeps through the window and across my face stirring up a melange of memories and emotions. Sigh, this trip is turning out harder than what I'd prepared myself for.

December 19, 2011

‎'Hazar rpm pakad ke chalna padta samjho' says the man at the table beside mine in characteristic Deccani Urdu even as I unapologetically eavesdrop while savouring my crisp, hot dosa and listening to 'Aaja piya' s strains over the restaurant's speakers. I love life right now!

December 20, 2011

A beautiful mellow sunset bathes the trees along the road in a golden-yellow light and bounces off the glass facades of the buildings across the street scattering more gold and yellow shimmer in the atmosphere setting the tone for a great evening. An evening spent wandering the tiny, lively lanes of General Bazar lined with shops that explode with wild, loud colours and glitter with festive lights, spreading buoyant cheer as you take in the sights and sounds and try to capture the holiday scene for ever and a day.

December 28, 2011

Tracing the road travelled, activating memories, awakening reflections...

A gentle draft of wind sweeps the hair off your face as your head is bent over your book in concentration and breezes over the prairie grasses ahead beckoning your glance their way. You look up to see the grasses dancing with the wafts of air blowing through them. You wish time would stop still at this moment or that you could spend hours taking in the sight. Nirvana.

When the horizon before you is bounded by clouds - great big scoops of puffy white iridescence below and flat grey sheaths of mist above - and the world in between is a gorgeous medley of pink, purple, orange, blue and white. 

Flying through scattered gold dust into a charming sunset.

'On a day like today' - when the sky clouds a grey-silver hue and the sun peeks a brilliant white-gold through it all, when the breeze rustles the leaves and branches of the trees and gently runs through your hair as the swing brings you back down on its trajectory - you wonder at the beauty of the evening and recharge in the quiet contemplation of your gorgeous surroundings.

Lessons from an engineering course - trust yourself.

Farah (to her assignment) - Hadh kar di aapne!

To be that person whose presence lights up the room, whose smile shines like a beacon of hope, whose energetic vibe helps you look past your seemingly minor troubles to reach out, once again, for your dreams.

Saitna, saitna - zindagi saitna hogayi bolo!!!

Life is no fun if you don't land yourself in a soup once in a while, no?!

Twilight drops down like a veil on the lazy suburban scene set against the dimming glow of fading sunlight. The brown of fences, green of trees and blue of the sky changes to a dull-dirty inky blue. And flickering a brilliant yellow against veiled silhouettes are fireflies-a bust of light here and flash of colour there-like twinkling fairy-lights in a dream.
Trying to 'make pictures with words' à la Natasha Badhwar

Happy Father's Day, Pop and Bademam J

Sometimes the most peaceful moments of your life and the most serene of experiences in the world happens at the bus stop while you wait contemplating the beautifully withering and vibrantly alive roses in all shades of pink in front of you, the bright yellow lilies swaying in the breeze a little distance away and the busy rabbit picking away at its object of interest in the planting bed beyond. Ephemeral Nirvana!

wants to watch Mughal-E-Azam with Nanna.

It's so cute and disarming when parents find such immense happiness in the smallest of your achievements and some of the most mundane aspects of your life! Totally puts life and the things that truly matter in perspective.

‎'The quality of life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight. The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.' - Julia Cameron

‎'Dil de toh is mizaj ka parvardigar de, Joh ranjh ki ghadi bhi khushi se guzaar de.'

Being Comprehensivist, T-shaped and a Zero Gravity Thinker!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! After an eternity, a sher...
'Sabaq phir padh sadaqat ka, adalat ka, shujahat ka,
Liya jayega tujhse kaam duniya ki imamat ka.
-Iqbal
To the best'est' grandmom in the world!

You know you're a grad student if you either feel guilty or are absolutely convinced something's wrong when you happen to have a night with no school work to do! (Oh, and when doing the dishes becomes the bane of your life!)

Firsts - 11.1.11

It's been a year of firsts for me. My first 'graduate school' experience, my first 'living alone' adventure, my very first Diwali on foreign shores and... my first birthday away from home . My first birthday also without the presence of one of the most important people in my life. It's been a year that's brought me some of my life's sublimely happy moments. It's also lastingly brought home the ephermeralness that is Life.
Yeah, after years I've had a birthday without the customary cake (or maybe it's the first, I don't remember).
Yet, it's a time of thankfulness, gratefulness and a counting of blessings. It's probably another first - a birthday spent in introspection, reflection and a sober joy in the knowledge that I'm surrounded by people who will never let me fall.